The Case of the Missing Bishounen!
by Rayamon
Summary: One dark and stormy night (well, actually it was a clear night),some mysterious shadows come through the Digi-Port and kidnap all the boys and their Digimon! Oh no! Will the girls (and Hawkmon) be able to rescue them before all the fangirls stop watching?
1. Takeru, Where Are You? (and everyone els...

AN: I wrote this fic to celebrate my first anniversary of being on fanfiction

AN: I wrote this fic to celebrate my first anniversary of being on fanfiction.net! On 23rd September I joined, and on the 25th I posted my first fic! And since my last few fics have been on the dark side, I decided to do a really demented humour fic!

Feralimon belongs to me!! I invented him a little while ago, but I lost the picture (and it was really good as well! T_T), so you'll just have to put up with the description. If you want to use them in a fic, then let me know! I'd like to see what my little Ferali's get up to!

In case you're wondering, Mel is Pulsar, my beta-reader! And she beta-ed this for me! She also doesn't like me doing loads of dark fics, so I hope this calms her down! I'd better go write a fluff to pacify her ^_^

And if you're a bit puzzled by Cody's behaviour, my RL friend Scarlett and I both think that he's a psychopath. C'mon, it's obvious he is!

This fanfic is for everyone who has read and reviewed any of my fanfics over the past year! If I was Azulongmon I'd give you all the power to go Mega, but since I'm not, you'll have to accept my eternal gratitude instead!

****

The Case of the Missing Bishounen!

By Rayamon

****

Chapter 1: Takeru, Where Are You? (and everyone else, for that matter)

It was a beautiful night in Odaiba. The thrum of traffic was just a low background murmur, and there was nary a cloud to obscure the sky. The moon hung in the sky, surrounded by a myriad of twinkling stars, and lots of other pretty metaphors I like to use in my fics instead of getting on with the story.

Anyway, near Odaiba, in Tamachi, Ken Ichijouji lay asleep in bed, Minomon curled up beside him. All was silent and dark...

Then a blinking light appeared in the room.

The computer switched itself on.

The screen glowed, a Digi-Port opened and someone came through.

Minomon yawned and blinked awake at the light. He saw the shadowy figure and his eyes widened.

"KE-"

The shadow quickly grabbed the little Digimon and stuffed a hand over his mouth to gag him. Minomon responded by biting the hand. The shadow swore and threw the In-Training through the Digi-Port, before going over to Ken.

"Oh Ken-chaaaaaaan!"

"Mmm..." muttered Ken in his sleep "Gimme another 5 minutes momma..."

"Keeeeeeen...wake up Keeeeeen!"

Ken groaned and rolled over. He opened his eyes and looked at the figure.

His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to scream, but a hand gagged him and yanked him out of bed.

Ken struggled, but he was caught in a headlock. He didn't even have time to blink as the shadow dragged him through the Digi-Port.

Back in Odaiba...

Davis lay sprawled out over his bed, snoring outrageously, Chibimon curled up in his hair. He was snoring so loudly that he didn't notice someone open his bedroom door and sneak in. He also didn't notice as they picked up Chibimon and disappeared with him, before coming back into his room.

"Davis! Dai-kun! Wakey-wakey!"

Davis continued to snore.

"Daisuke! Wake up!"

More snoring.

"MOTOMIYA DAISUKE!!!"

No answer, apart from a snore.

The shadowy figure sighed, then wrapped their arms around Davis and pulled him off the bed, before dragging him into the living room, where a Digi-Port was open on the computer.

And Davis continued to sleep through it all.

In another part of Odaiba...

Kari lay asleep in her bed, Gatomon next to her. Suddenly, she stirred and woke up. She blinked tiredly. What had woken her? She was a light sleeper, so it could have been anything.

Then she heard it.

Struggling.

Coming from the living room!

She slid out of bed, trying not to wake Gatomon, and opened her bedroom door.

A shadowy figure was fighting with Tai across the living room, trying to drag him towards the computer. Tai was struggling madly, biting and kicking, but whoever it was holding him captive was gagging him and succeeding in getting him to the computer.

"TAI!" screamed Kari. The figure looked up, swore and threw something to the ground. It exploded and a choking smoke filled the air. Kari coughed and spluttered, and when the smoke cleared, both Tai and the shadow were gone.

Kari ran over to the computer screen and shook the monitor, staring at the closed Digi-Port.

"Tai? TAI!!!"

"Uh...Kari?" Mr. Kamiya stood in the doorway, looking incredibly sleepy "What's the matter?"

"Tai's just been kidnapped by an evil shadow and got sucked through the computer!!!"

"Yeah...that's nice dear...now why don't you go back to sleep..." with that, Mr. Kamiya turned and went back to bed.

Kari stared after him, then ran back into her room, picked up her D-Terminal and started typing.

"Kari?" asked Gatomon, now awake "What are you doing?"

"I'm sending e-mails! It's an emergency Digi-Destined meeting!"

************************************************************

At 7 o'clock the next morning, Sora, Yolei and Poromon sat in the park, half-asleep and waiting for Kari. All three were absolutely shattered and on the verge of dropping off. Eventually, Yolei gave in and collapsed backwards, snoring. Poromon followed suit and soon they were both asleep.

Sora yawned and looked at them, and decided to join in. She lent back and closed her eyes...

"SORA! YOLEI!"

They jolted awake as Kari and Gatomon came running towards them. Completely out of breath, they plopped down onto the grass next to them. Taking deep breaths, Kari looked round puzzled at the small group.

"Where are the others?"

"I dunno," shrugged Sora "I thought it was just us."

"No...I e-mailed the whole gang! They should be here! Unless...they got kidnapped too!"

"Come again?" asked Yolei.

"That's what I called the meeting for! Last night Tai got kidnapped by a shadow and got sucked through the computer! What if all the other lads got taken too? What if we're next? AHHH!!!" Kari began to hyperventilate.

"Calm down!" said Gatomon "They're probably just late! Let's wait for them."

An hour later...

"I don't think they're coming." Said Poromon.

"But are we sure they've been kidnapped?" asked Sora "We've got no way of knowing!"

"Actually...we have!" pronounced Yolei, pulling out a laptop "I hid cameras all over the boy's houses, so all I have to do is rewind the film to see what happened to them!"

"Great!" said Kari. Then she stopped "Er...WHY do you have cameras all over the boy's houses?"

"Izzy installed them for me, after I found out that he had-" she cut off.

"After he _what_?" prompted Sora.

Yolei blushed "After I found out that that he had set up cameras all over the girl's houses."

"WHAT!?!?" screamed Kari and Sora "WHERE!?!?!"

"All over...the living room, the bedroom...the bathroom..."

"The BATHROOM!?!?" screeched Sora "I'm gonna kill that perverted little hentai! I'll stuff that laptop right up his a-"

"Got it!" interrupted Yolei, typing on her laptop "Here's MattCam 1!"

The picture on the screen showed inside Matt's bedroom, focused on the bed. Yolei fast-forwarded it until they spotted a flash of light off-screen, then movement in the room. Leaving it running at normal speed, they saw a shadowy figure grab Matt and pull him out of bed, waking him. He struggled, but the figure yanked him off-screen, there was another flash of light...then nothing.

"Let's try the other cams..."

It was the same story for IzzyCam 1, JyouCam 1, TKCam 1, DavisCam1, CodyCam1 and KenCam 1. All showed the Digi-Destined lads (and Patamon, Chibimon, Upamon and Minomon) being kidnapped by shadowy figures and being taken through the Digi-Ports.

"Well," said Kari "There's only one thing to do!"

"We go and trash Izzy's room for putting up cameras?" asked Sora.

"We go home and sleep?" asked Poromon.

"No!" shouted Kari "We go to the Digital World and search for them!"

Everyone groaned.

"To my house! CHAAAAAAARGE!" Kari took off at a run.

Gatomon, Sora, Yolei and Poromon looked at each other.

"Definitely too much sugar in the tea."

Later on that day...

The three girls and two Digimon stood in the Digital World.

"So..." asked Hawkmon "What are we supposed to do now?"

"We go look for the lads!"

"Kari, do you have any idea how BIG the Digi-World is? It'll take us ages!"

"Plus there's no signal on the D3." Said Yolei, looking at her D3.

"Never mind that! We'll search for them by foot! Nobody kidnaps OUR bishonen and gets away with it!!" Kari began to foam at the mouth.

Everyone edged away.

"Sora! Sooora!"

Sora looked up at hearing her name, and broke into a big smile as she saw who called it "Biyomon!"

The two hugged.

"Sora, I'm so glad you're here! Something terrible has happened!"

"What? What's happened?"

Biyomon sniffed "Last night, all us Digimon were asleep, when something woke me up...and all these shadowy figures were kidnapping the boy Digimon! I tried to stop them, but one of the shadows attacked me with an Electric Stun Blast! And by the time I recovered, they'd gone!"

"Electric Stun Blast?" asked Gatomon "That means...Gazimon!"

"And Gazimon are the henchmon of the Digital World..." mused Hawkmon "That can mean only one thing!"

"What?" asked everyone.

Hawkmon sweatdropped.

"I haven't got a clue."

Everyone fell over. 

"Right." Said Kari, calming down and wiping foam from her mouth "We've got to get organised! Yolei, you and Hawkmon try to identify where the Digi-Ports were opened, and where they lead. As for the rest of us..."

Everyone waited.

"We go back to the Real World and search for clues! The shadows must have left at least SOME hint of who they are!"

"Great! Let's get to it!" cheered Sora. With that, she and the rest charged back through the Digi-Port.

Yolei waited until they had gone, then opened up her internet browser and went on nakedkaiser.com and fanfiction.net.

"Aren't you going to track down those Digi-Ports?" asked Hawkmon, looking over her shoulder.

"Ah, no hurry." Dismissed Yolei. Suddenly she broke into a grin "Look! Nakedkaiser.com just had an update! More naked Ken pics!"

Hawkmon rolled his eyes "Does Ken know about this?"

"I hope not...it was Davis and Wormmon who set it up in the first place..."

************************************************************

__

KNOCKKNOCKNOCK!

"Coming!"

Jun Motomiya sleepily opened the door to see Sora and Kari, with overly nice (and slightly inane) grins on their face.

"Hi Jun!" said Kari, never taking the grin off her face "Is Davis in?"

"Hang on." Jun turned round and bellowed down the hall "DAVIS! YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S HERE!!!!"

Sora and Kari sweatdropped.

Jun shrugged, as there was no answer from her little brother "He's probably sleeping, as usual. You can go in and wake him up."

"Arigatou!" keeping their grins plastered to their face, the girls ran to Daisuke's room.

"Man," said Sora, wrinkling her nose at the state of Dai's room "This room is a tip!"

"Never mind that," said Kari "Let's search for clues!"

They looked at the junk-filled room and sweatdropped.

Half an hour later...

"It's no good!" wailed Kari "There're no clues ANYWHERE!"

The girls had managed to clean most of Dai's room in the search for clues, but they hadn't found one.

"Well, this has been productive." Sighed Sora, slumping down onto the floor. Suddenly her eyes went wide and she jumped up in pain "OW!!"

"Huh?" asked Kari "What's the matter?"

Sora got up and gingerly pulled a badge pin (still attached to the badge) out of her backside "I think I really got the point that time!"

Kari groaned at the awful joke and took the badge. She looked at it and gasped.

"Look, it's a clue!"

"Jinkies!" said Sora, coming next to Kari. They looked at the badge.

It had a picture of Davis on it, complete with the phrase 'SUPPORT DAISUKE! _How can you say 'no' to that face?' _(AN: See my profile!)

"This is an important clue!" gasped Kari "Quick, let's go get Gatomon and Biyomon!" With that, the girls ran from Daisuke's room.

"BYE JUN!" they shouted as they slammed the door behind them.

Jun blinked, slightly puzzled, then went back to checking her favourite website.

Which was, incidentally, nakedyamato.com.

***********************************************************

"So Davis wasn't kidnapped by some anti-Davis fans..." mused Gatomon "But by a we-all-love-Davis fan. Interesting."

"Now we just have to see if the rest of the lads fit in with this..." said Biyomon.

"Who's the nearest now?" asked Kari, looking at Sora.

Sora worked it out in her head "Joe's house!"

"Let's get going then!"

10 minutes later...

"Hello Mr. Kido!" chorused Sora and Kari, grins still on their face "Is Joe in?"

Joe's father blinked in surprise "No, I'm afraid he's out at the moment. He's been out all day."

"But can we come in?"

"No, sorry."

"Please?"

"No."

"PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE?" they fluttered their eyelashes.

"I said no! Look, I've got an important business meeting on at the moment, with some very important guests! So if you don't mind..." with that, Mr. Kido shut the door.

"Now what?" asked Sora, sitting outside Joe's apartment with Kari and the Digimon.

"We could always Digivolve and fly you up." Offered Biyomon.

"No," said Sora, shaking her head "It'd be too conspicuous. I think a few people would notice a giant bird and an angel flying about."

During the conversation, Kari had been quiet, studying the building intently.

"Whatcha thinking about, Kari?" asked Gatomon.

Her human partner broke into a grin.

"I've got a plan."

5 minutes later...

"This is a stupid plan!" hissed Sora.

"I didn't see you coming up with any other ideas!"

After being unable to get through the front door, Kari and Sora decided to go via the back...climbing up the drainpipe. Sora, who was before Kari, gulped and tried not to look down as she pulled herself up...

Suddenly, the pipe gave way under her hand, drenching them in a spout of stinking water. They spluttered, caught in the waterfall, unable to do anything until the water went down.

"Was THAT in your plan as well?" asked Sora sarcastically, soaking wet.

"Oh shut up!"

After a few more minutes, they managed to get high enough to climb through Joe's open bedroom window.

"Ugh, I'm SOAKED!" complained Kari, lifting her arm and letting the water drip off her sleeve.

"Be quiet!" whispered Sora "We're not supposed to be in here!" she sloshed a few steps "But maybe we can borrow some of Jyou's clothes until ours dry. I don't think he'll mind."

Rummaging through the drawers, the girls managed to find some clean clothes. They had just pulled off their own when they heard something.

"Hey dad, sorry to interrupt, but do you know where the medical encyclopaedia is?"

"It's in Joe's room"

"Oh, okay, thanks dad!"

Sora and Kari stiffened and looked at the desk in the room.

The encyclopaedia was on it.

They looked at each other.

Both were in just their underwear.

Jim would catch them standing there, in their underwear, in Joe's room!

"We've got to hide!" whispered Sora.

Kari looked round "In the closet!" The two girls ran to the closet and hid inside, closing the door as tightly as possible.

The bedroom door opened and Jim came through.

They held their breaths.

There was a rustling as Jim picked up the encyclopaedia. Kari peered through a crack in the door and watched him.

Jim flicked through the book, when he came to a page with a note stuck in as a bookmark. Writing on it caught his eye, and he picked it up and read it out loud to himself.

"Jim. Borrowed your green jacket last night. If it's not on the chair it's in the wardrobe."

There was no jacket on the chair.

Sora and Kari stared wide-eyed at each other, then up at the clothes in the closet.

Hanging there was a green jacket.

They mentally said every swear word they could think of.

Jim walked over to the closet.

He put his hands on the handle and pulled the doors wide open.

His eyes went wide as he saw two scantily clad teenage girls hiding in his brother's closet.

"Heh heh...hi Jim!" said Sora nervously.

Jim continued to stare.

Then he screamed, long and loud, before his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fainted clean away.

"Jim? What's the matter?"

Damn! Joe's father!

Quick as a flash, the girls jumped out of the closet, grabbed their clothes (and the ones they were borrowing from Joe) and dashed out of the room.

Joe's father's jaw dropped as he saw two girls run clean through the living room in front of his (very) important guests wearing nothing but their underwear before running out the front door.

"Bye Mr. Kido!" shouted Kari as they escaped the apartment.

Mr. Kido slowly turned round and looked at his important guests.

All were staring wide eyed at what just happened, with their cups of tea partly raised to their mouths, one of them with a digestive biscuit suspended above his mug.

The end of the biscuit fell into the tea.

Mr. Kido shakily took a bottle out from under the table, poured a glass for himself and emptied it in one swig, before offering it to everyone else.

"Brandy, anyone?"

Back outside...

Sora and Kari dashed outside, pulling on Joe's clothes as they went. They skidded to a halt in front of their Digimon.

"What's the rush?" asked Gatomon. Then she stopped "And why are you wearing Jyou's clothes?"

"No time to explain! We've gotta make a run for it!" scooping up their partners, Sora and Kari ran as far away from Joe's apartment as possible.

Eventually they came to a halt and lent against the side of a building, panting heavily.

"We're never gonna be able to look at Jim again!" panted Kari, completely out of breath.

"And no doubt Joe's dad's gonna be after our hides as well!" added Sora.

"What exactly happened in there, anyway?" asked Biyomon curiously.

"You don't wanna know." Answered Kari.

Suddenly, Kari's D-Terminal began to bleep. She took it out and flipped it open.

"It's an e-mail! From Yolei! _Get to the Digital World, quick! I've discovered something!_"

"Well then, what are we waiting for?"

************************************************************

Once Sora, Kari and the Digimon got back to the Digital World, they soon tracked down Yolei. She was still there, tapping away at her laptop.

"Guys, glad you could make it!" Yolei blinked "Why are you wearing Jyou's clothes?"

"Don't ask." Grumbled Sora

"Anyway..." continued Yolei "We've found something amazing!"

"The best way to eat noodles with a spoon?" asked Gatomon.

"Where Jeff Nimoy lives so we can put a horse's head in his bed?" asked Biyomon.

"NO!" shouted Yolei "We've managed to track down a program that let's us see which Digi-Ports have been opened recently, and where they opened to and from!" She turned her laptop round, showing a map of the Digital World. She pointed at a red dot. "See, here's the portal you just came out of. And this..." she bought up a blue dot "Is a portal that opened up about 10 minutes ago! That means that someone else has just come to the Digital World!"

"Let's get there and go see!" said Kari "It might be those shadows who kidnapped the boys!"

Suddenly a beeping sound filled the air. Yolei typed away at her laptop and turned pale.

"Another Digi-Port's just been opened...and it's right near us!"

Everyone froze and slowly looked at the forest around them.

Not a single sound could be heard. The birdsong had fallen silent and the wind died, leaving the leaves still. The silence was oppressive, weighing down on them...

Suddenly a noise began deep in the forest. Rustling and snapping came through the foliage as the entity forced itself through towards the group...

The Digimon took a fighting stance in front of their partners, flexing their claws and ready to Digivolve at the slightest moment...

The creature staggered forward through the bushes in blur of pink and green.

Pink and green?

Everyone did a double take.

"MIMI!?!?" gasped Sora and Kari.

"PALMON!?!?" gasped Biyomon and Gatomon.

"Mimi!!" squealed Yolei happily, little love hearts appearing in her eyes. Hawkmon nudged her.

"Yolei! No yuri or lesbian activities, please!"

"Ah, you're no fun."

"What are you doing in the Digital World, Mimi?" asked Sora.

Mimi, who was picking twigs out of her hair, suddenly stopped and went teary eyed.

"It's awful! Terrible! Catastrophic!"

"Jeff Nimoy's writing Tamers?" asked Kari.

"You have a boyfriend?" asked Yolei.

"NO! It's Michael...he's been KIDNAPPED!!!"

The rest of the gang looked decidedly unimpressed.

"So?" asked Sora.

"What do you mean, so?" asked Mimi.

"I mean, so what? Nobody likes him, anyway!"

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!!" screamed Mimi "He was going to take me shopping tomorrow and buy me some new clothes! He has a platinum credit card, for crying out loud! I NEED to find him!"

Kari looked at Sora "Do you think it's the same creatures who kidnapped the others?"

"Possibly..."

"Huh?" asked Mimi, oblivious as usual "What do you mean, kidnapped the others?"

Sora clued her in.

"You mean ALL the lads have been taken? Even Joe? Nooooooooo!! Not Joe!" she sweatdropped "Erm, not that I like him or anything..."

"That's a relief." Said Yolei, who had just then been trying to think of a way to knock off Joe so that he couldn't have Mimi.

"Now that we're together," said Gatomon "Let's get going and find that Digi-Port! Then we might find the others!"

"Right. DIGI-ARMOUR ENERGISE!!"

"Gatomon Armour-Digivolve to...NEFERTIMON! The Angel of Light!"

"Hawkmon Armour-Digivolve to...HALSEMON! The Wings of Love!"

"Come on, Sora." Said Kari, helping her and Biyomon onto Nefertimon's back.

"You can ride with me if you want..." said Yolei dreamily, staring at Mimi.

Halsemon sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Oh, and Sora?" asked Mimi.

"What is it?"

"Why are you and Kari wearing Jyou's clothes?"

************************************************************

10 minutes later, the girls (and Halsemon) were flying towards where the Digi-Port had opened up earlier. Apart from an amorous Sukamon making advances at Mimi (which Yolei soon put a stop to), their flight was mainly uneventful. 

"How much further to go?" asked Kari, riding Nefertimon.

Yolei checked her laptop "We should be almost there..."

"HELP! HEEEEEELP!!"

The girls all looked at each other.

"That sounds...like Michael!" gasped Mimi.

"We'd better hurry!" said Nefertimon as she and Halsemon flew as fast as they could towards the screaming...

************************************************************

The girls (and Halsemon) stood looking wide-eyed at the scene in front of them.

Michael was tied up and was suspended above a crated lake by a long rope attached to an overhanging tree branch, quite a way above the lake surface. And the water in the lake boiled with the angry thrashing of the Digimon in it. They were Feralimon, huge, 30ft long crocodilian Digimon, at the Champion level. Their scales were light blue, while harder, navy blue shield scales plated their backs. Two spikes grew out from the back of their skulls, and two short sabre teeth protruded from the front of their fang-crammed jaws. Their blue scales were decorated with occasional black diamond pattern, with a smaller blue diamond inside them. These in turn were separated by black stripes, one of which ran over their great golden eyes. The Feralimon were taking turns in leaping out the lake as high as possible, snapping at Michael. Each time they fell just short, but they were getting closer...

"HELP ME!!!!" screamed Michael, pulling up his legs as a Feralimon came a bit too close for comfort.

"Michael!" shouted Mimi "We've come to save you!"

"Mimi? Is it you??? Thank the gods! I'm about to be crocodile bait! Help me!!"

"We have to distract the Feralimon enough for Yolei and Halsemon to cut Michael down." said Sora "But we've only got one Armour, and there's an awful lot of Feralimon..." 

"Leave it to me!" said Palmon, who had been feeling pretty left out as she hadn't had a line yet "Palmon Digivolve to Togemon Digivolve to...LILLYMON! FLOWER CANNON!!!"

Lillymon fired her attack at the mass of Feralimon. As one, they all turned and charged for the Ultimate, temporarily forgetting Michael in the process.

"Let's go, Halsemon!" cried Yolei, leaping onto her partners back, leaving the rest to fight.

"ROSETTA STONE!"

"FLOWER CANNON!"

"METEOR WING!" cried Birdramon, joining in. There wasn't enough room for the giant Garudamon to fight so she didn't Digivolve again. Besides, Garudamon scares me.

Halsemon hovered beside Michael as Yolei cut him down and helped him onto Halsemon's back.

"Phew, thanks Yolei! We'd better get out of here before the Feralimon decide to eat your friends!" said Michael in his annoying-posh voice.

"Ah, they don't look so tough!" scoffed Yolei.

The lead Feralimon opened up its immense jaws "DILIAN BLAST!" It shot out a turquoise blast of energy, much like Garurumon's Howling Blaster, straight at Lillymon. The flower pixie dodged, but now other Feralimon joined in the shooting, lighting up the entire area.

"You were saying, Yolei?" asked Halsemon.

"Oh shut up." Yolei turned and frantically signalled the others "We've got Michael! Quick, let's move it!"

The girls grabbed hold of their Digimon partners as they flew away, pursued by angry Feralimon.

Holding onto Yolei as he'd never flown on Halsemon before, Michael babbled out his story "It was early morning, as we're about 9 hours ahead of you. I was eating my breakfast when suddenly my computer turned on, a shadowy figure came through and kidnapped me! She-I'm sure it was a she-took me to this big dark place and took me inside to this huge ballroom! All the other Digi-boys and their Digimon were there too! Well, I don't think Cody was. She took me to this other shadow-I'm pretty sure that was a she too- who decided that she didn't want me here, so they took me to the Digital World, tied me up and summoned the Feralimon to eat me!"

"So the boys are all alright?"

"Yes! At least, they were when I was there!"

"We've got to hurry up and find them!" said Kari "If they decided to feed Michael to the Feralimon, who knows what they'll do to the others!"

"Guys! I think we have a problem!" shouted Birdramon. Everyone looked round to see the entire pack of Feralimon charging after them...and gaining. For saying they were giant crocodiles, they were very fast on land.

"We won't be able to out-fly them!" puffed Nefetrimon, flapping her wings harder to stay ahead.

"And we can't out-fight them either!" panted Lillymon.

"They'll catch us!" wailed Kari.

"Oh no they won't!" shouted Yolei. Turning round, she gave Michael a push and shoved him off Halsemon. He bounced several times on the ground before coming to a dazed halt. Then the Feralimon were upon him and tore him apart with their teeth and claws, his screams mingling with their roars.

Everyone turned and looked at Yolei.

"What?? I stopped them following us, didn't I?"

Everyone mushroom-sighed.

************************************************************

The girls stood in front of the TV with a feeling of foreboding.

They had found the portal which Michael had been dragged through, and it would lead back to the dark fortress from which he spoke of. Now, with a vicious battle in front of them to save the boys, and the possibility of them all not making it back, they stood silent for a while, preparing themselves for the worse.

*gets hit by beta-reader* Itai! Mel!! Stoppit, it's my fic! I can put something dark in if I want to! *gets beaten with a Silphymon plushie* Okay, okay! I'll stop with the drama!

Anyway, the girls-

"I'M NOT A GIRL!!!" shouted Hawkmon.

Okay then, the girls AND HAWKMON stood in front of the Digi-Port.

"Are we ready to go?" asked Sora.

"HELL YEAH!" roared Kari, who had somehow managed to get her hands on the gun arm of a Tankmon, complete with ammo. To prove her point, she fired several rounds into the air, hitting a stray Airdramon who just happened to be flying over (don't worry, he wasn't badly hurt).

"Alright then, here we go!" called Yolie, holding up her D3 "DIGI-PORT OPEN!!"

************************************************************

Mimi blinked in surprise "THAT'S the Dark Fortress??"

The girls (and Hawkmon) gazed upwards at the immense structure in front of them. True to its name, it was a dark fortress; the walls made of black stone. The battlements clawed at the crimson skies, in which carrion birds circled and squawked mournfully. The high turrets pierced the smoky clouds, shrouding the high walls. Each crenellation was tipped with a spike, and a crumbling stone path led up to the immense ebony doors.

In all, it wasn't a very cheerful place.

"Not exactly a place I'd go on holiday to," said Biyomon.

"Now, we've got to be careful about this," said Sora "There could be guards about. We'll have to keep low and sneak in, as well as..."

"Um, Sora?" asked Yolei.

"What is it?"

"Look behind you."

Sora looked round...and saw Kari running straight up to the fortress, firing off ammunition and screaming at the top of her voice.

"So much for sneaking in..."

"Kari!" shouted Gatomon, running after her. The others followed suit, trying to catch up with the deranged girl.

Kari, still screaming insanely, didn't notice the object lying on the path in front of her. That is, until she tripped on it and went flying.

"Kari! Are you alright?" asked Gatomon, coming up next to her.

"Ow....pain..."

"What is it?" asked Palmon, looking at the object. Yolei picked it up and examined it. Her eyes widened as she figured out what it was.

"It's Cody's kendo stick!"

"Jinkies!" said Sora (again).

"Zoiks!" said Hawkmon.

Palmon couldn't think of any more Scooby Doo quotes, so she just gasped instead.

"What's it doing here?" asked Mimi.

"Maybe the shadows dropped it when they took Cody..." mused Gatomon.

"Well lets hurry up and go break in so we can save them!" whined Mimi, hands on hips.

"And just HOW are we supposed to break in?" asked Yolei, gazing up at the absolutely immense door.

"Like this! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Screaming a war cry, Kari fired her gun at the door until all the bullets ran out.

The door didn't have a single dent.

"Let me try! Biyomon Digivolve to Birdramon Digivolve to...GARUDAMON! WING BLADE!!"

Still no dent.

"FLOWER CANNON!"

"CELESTIAL ARROW!" 

"GRAND HORN!"

Once again, no dent. Not even a scratch.

"We've FAILED!" wailed Kari "Now we'll never save the boys, all the fangirls will stop watching and the show will be taken off the air! We're DOOMED!!"

"And we came so far..." Yolei sighed and lent heavily against the door. She squealed as a section suddenly gave way beneath her, sending her sprawling on her backside.

"Well, what do you know?" asked Hawkmon, peering through "It had a doggie door after all!"

"Ow...it hurts!" whimpered Yolei.

"Are you alright?" asked Mimi.

Yolei got love hearts in her eyes again "It will be if you kiss it better..."

Hawkmon rolled his eyes and strode forward, dragging his partner behind him.

"What have I told you about making yuri passes at people...?"

************************************************************

The gang followed the passage into the fortress. Actually, that's all they did; the passage had no doors and no junctions. It just stretched on and on and on. It was high enough and wide enough to let a Digimon at least the size of Paildramon through, and had a huge vaulted ceiling. Statues of various Digimon flanked the walls, the most popular being Zudomon, ExVeemon and Flamedramon. The girls' (and Hawkmon's) footsteps echoed spookily throughout the massive corridor.

"How much longer does this corridor go?" wondered Mimi out loud "My feet hurt!"

"It can't be much further..." said Kari.

An hour later...

"WILL THIS CORRIDOR NEVER END!?!?!?!" screamed Mimi at the top of her voice.

"I have to use the bathroom!" wailed Hawkmon.

"You should have gone before we left!" said Biyomon.

"I went right before this fanfic started, but it's going on for AGES! I only thought it'd be about 6 pages or so!"

"Wait a minute!" said Sora "Mimi, scream again!"

"Huh?"

"You heard me! Scream!"

Mimi obliged, causing everyone to cover their ears in pain.

"You mind telling me what THAT was about?" asked Gatomon.

"Didn't you hear it?"

"Hear what?"

"When Mimi screamed, I heard a faint echo from further down. That means there must be a door...and the end of the passage!"

"WHOOHOO! THE END IS NIGH!!" shouted everyone. As one, they charged towards the end of the corridor.

5 minutes later...

The gang slowed down to a jog.

10 minutes later...

The gang slowed to a walk.

Eventually...

The gang crawled up and slumped at the foot of the door at the end of the corridor. They lay there, panting, as they surveyed the door.

It looked like it was made from a dark, solid oak. It had huge metal handles and looked like it weighed a ton or so. Flanking it were statues of two Imperialdramon (the dragony mode).

"So all we have to do is get through the door?" asked Palmon.

"That shouldn't be so hard..." said Kari. Then they all remembered the last door they had faced and sweatdropped. Hawkmon stood up and ran his wings over the door.

"There isn't a doggie door in this one."

"Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!" wailed everyone.

"Wait!" said Gatomon suddenly "Did you lot hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"Sshhhh......listen..."

Everyone held their breaths and listened intently.

__

Clunk splosh...clunk splosh...

"What is it??" panicked Sora.

"Sounds like something going clunk splosh to me." Said Mimi.

Everyone groaned at the obvious Mimi-esque quote.

__

Clunk splosh...clunk splosh... clunk splosh...

"It's coming closer!!!" panicked Biyomon.

"HIDE!!!" shouted Kari. Everyone looked round.

There wasn't anywhere to hide!

__

Clunk splosh...clunk splosh... clunk splosh...

The gang huddled together into the corner as from down the corridor emerged...

"CODY!?!?!"

Indeed, it was little Iori. Looking rather strange. His clothes were soaking wet and his feet were encased in a block of concrete. To move he had to do little jumps, causing his clothes to squelch. That explained the clunk splosh noise.

"Cody? What are you doing here?" asked Yolei.

"Doing here? _DOING HERE!?!?! _I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M DOING HERE!!!" screeched Cody, obviously annoyed "I was asleep in my room when suddenly this shadow grabbed me and tried to take me through the Digi-Port! So I picked up my kendo stick and started beating them with it, but they snatched it off me and threw it away! The next thing I know I'm in a ballroom, handed to ANOTHER shadow, who takes me through another Digi-Port, encases my feet in cement and throws me in the river! Do you know how long it took me to drag myself out the river? _DO YOU!?!?!_"

"I daresay you're gonna tell us..."

"SIX HOURS!!! SIX SMEGGING HOURS IT TOOK ME!! SIX!!!"

"Cody..." asked Yolei "How could it have taken you six hours? It's impossible to hold your breath that long!"

Iori suddenly got an evil grin on his face "It'll take more than a river to destroy me..."

Everyone suddenly looked nervous.

"Er...hey Cody!" said Yolei nervously, trying to appease the insane child "We found your kendo stick!"

"Really? Give it to me!"

Yolei handed him the kendo stick and he hugged it, mumbling soothing words to it.

"Now how are going to get Cody's feet free form the cement?" asked Biyomon "We can't use our attacks, we might hurt him!"

"Leave it to me."

Everyone looked at Cody in surprise. Closing his eyes, he held his kendo stick in front of him and started to mutter. He began to chant under his breath for a few minutes, then suddenly raised his voice.

"I am not the God of Death, I am the Emissary..." he opened his eyes and swung the stick above his head "AND I SHALL **DESTROY **YOU ALL!!!" He bought the stick crashing down onto the concrete and the block shattered into thousands of pieces.

The girls (and Hawkmon) stared.

"Wow!"

Cody stepped clear from the rubble and shook bits of cement from off his shoes. Suddenly his eyes hardened, he struck a dramatic pose and held out the kendo stick in front of him again.

"And now I shall cleanse this fanfic and the world of the evil shadows that kidnapped me and unleashed the wrath of prune juice upon the unsuspecting people!!!"

"Um...Cody?" asked Kari.

"What is it?!?!"

Kari cringed back from the tone of his voice.

"Well, erm, you see...we have to get through this door first. But we can't. And another thing...I don't think that prune juice is involved in all of this."

"Are you sure?" asked Cody, astonished. "Prune juice is the root of all evil! It has already corrupted Grandpa!"

"Yeah, but..."

"Never mind," dismissed Cody. "First I will get us through the door."

"And just _how _are you going to do that?" asked Hawkmon.

"Like this." Cody went and stood in front of the huge door and closed his eyes for a few seconds.

Everyone stood silent.

"I SHALL DESTROY YOU ALL!!!!" Everybody jumped as Cody screamed out his catchphrase, and in a blurring whirlwind of motion swung his kendo stick several times at the door, causing the stick to hiss through the air like a scythe.

The door still stood firm.

"Well, THAT was good, Cody!" complained Yolei "That didn't do ANYTHING!"

Iori did another one of his inane grins "You underestimate me, Inoue. Watch."

Cody turned round and gently blew on the door.

There was a second's silence...

And the door crumbled into dust.

Everyone's jaws dropped.

Cody smirked.

"Told you I could do it."

Suddenly, he noticed that everyone wasn't gawping at him.

He slowly turned around and stared at what was behind the door...

His kendo stick clattered to the floor as he dropped it in surprise.

For before them was...

__

What lies beyond the door? Will the gang be able to find the boys before all the fangirls stop watching? How much longer will this fanfic go on? Find out in the next chapter of 'The Case of the Missing Bishounen', a fanfic of Digimon: Digital Monsters!

"SHUT UP YOU STUPID NARRATOR!" screamed Cody "Omae o korosu! I SHALL DESTROY YOU ALL!!!"

__

No, please don't hurt me! Arrrrgggghhh!!! Stop hitting me! I'll stop narrating! I give you all my money! Nooooooooo!!!!!!!


	2. Of Vendettas, Pineapples and Guest Stars

Author's note: Here's the final chapter of my anniversary fic

Author's note: Here's the final chapter of my anniversary fic! Be warned...it's even more bizarre than the first! It starts off a bit slow, but then it picks up ^^

Rayamon, Santorayamon, Feralimon and the Invisible Gabumon all belong to me, Taromon belongs to my friend and the guitar belongs to my little brother. Thanks to Megchan for lyrics to 'Bokura no Digital World' (can't you just imagine waltzing to this song? It's great!), and the picture and details of Baihumon and Modoki-Betamon. (I love him. His description on the cards is: 'He's a little different from Betamon!' SQUEEEE!!!)

And beware, there's some yaoi, one-sided yuri and the Kidos think that's Jyou's a hentai! *big grin* There's also more guest stars than you can shake a Monochromon at! So go ahead and read...and don't steal my pineapple!! ^_^ 

****************************************************

****

Chapter 2: Of Vendettas, Pineapples and Guest Stars

*Now we shall have a beginning of episode-esque flashback courtesy of Hawkmon (because I just love him!)*

__

Things are going from bad to worse! Firstly, all the Digi-lads and their Digimon get kidnapped by evil shadows, causing us to go all over the place to try and find them before all the fangirls stop watching and the show gets taken off the air! After finding a clue suggesting that they weren't kidnapped by anti-Digimon people, we returned to the Digital World to find Michael being used as bait to Feralimon! Okay, so he did get eaten, but nobody likes him much anyway. But not before he gave us a helpful clue of what happened! We tracked down the shadows to the Dark Fortress, and wound up finding Cody! Who, by the way, is more insane than Kari is. Now we're standing on the threshold of the doorway, about to enter one of the greatest battles of our lives! I hope this fanfic ends soon, because I really need to use the bathroom!!

*Theme song: D-D-D...Digimon! Digimon! D-D-D...yeah, you get the idea.*

The girls (and Hawkmon and Cody) stood with their jaws hanging open at the sight in front of them.

Beyond the door was an absolutely immense ballroom. Crystal chandeliers hung from the impossibly high ceiling and the far wall was seeming made from enormous stained-glass windows. The floor was made of shining marble, and on that floor were several long tables, stretching from one end of the long ballroom to the other, with a space for a dance floor. The tables were covered with the finest food: caviar, Scottish salmon, roast pheasant and those little cheese and pineapple sticks.

But most surprisingly of all, in the ballroom were the missing Digi-boys and their Digimon.

They didn't look like they needed rescuing much.

In fact, they looked...like they were enjoying themselves.

Hawkmon pretty much summed it up in one word.

"_NANI?!?!?!_"

A creature none of them had noticed before, who was also in the ballroom and chatting to Wormmon, turned round at Hawkmon's voice. Spotting the gang, it lumbered over towards them.

Biyomon was the first to notice "Um guys...we have a problem!!"

The Digimon took a fighting stance as the creature, possibly a Digimon, towered above them.

It was slightly bigger than Ikkakumon and looked rather much like an oversized, four-legged Gazimon. It was large, furry and white, with jagged black stripes on its fur. It had large feathery ears with black tips, a black horn on its forehead and black paws tipped with long black claws, while two sharp sabre teeth protruded from the front of its jaws. A long stripy tail swished lazily back and forth behind it. The tail had 5 spiky rings by the tip, which was crowned with a bang of fur. A shaggy cream mane hung round its neck, and it blinked down at the newcomers with sapphire eyes marked with black slash across each one. (AN: Since Xing has taken down the profile pics, here's the very dodgy [and blurry] picture that was on my profile!)

They stood looking at each other for a few seconds, then the creature extended one paw in a friendly greeting.

"Oh, hello." It said in a female voice, "I didn't know that you were coming! My name's Rayamon, the joint hostess. Welcome to the party!"

Everyone blinked.

"Party?" asked Mimi.

"Rayamon?" questioned Yolei, puzzled.

"Yep!" the Digimon smiled again.

The gang were even more confused.

"Kari," whispered Gatomon, tugging at her partner's sleeve "I thought you said that Rayamon was a human author!"

"So did I..."

Rayamon turned and signalled someone else in the ballroom with a nod of her head. Looking in the direction, the gang saw someone else coming towards them.

It was a human girl in her late teens. She was roughly about the height of Joe (and with a scarily similar haircut, except blond and a bit longer) and green eyes. She reached the group and did one of those little Japanese bows in greeting.

"Hey guys! Glad you could make it! I'm the hostess of the party! My name's Lynsey, but everyone calls me Lynz, and on fanfiction.net I'm known as Rayamon!"

The gang looked at Lynz, then to the Digimon, then to Lynz again.

"Rayamon?" asked Yolei again.

"I think we established that..." muttered Hawkmon.

"Oh, her." Said Lynz, waving a hand at the large 'mon "That's the real Rayamon, my namesake. She's my Digimon!"

The gang looked confused again, while Cody muttered something about a 'stupid fanfic hack with own made-up Digimon'.

"All right you!" shouted Kari, pointing at Lynz "We want answers! Why did you kidnap the boys and their Digimon? What's this party all about? And why did you feed Michael to the Feralimon??"

"Sheesh, calm down!" Lynz took a step back "Let me explain. The boys got kidnapped because I wanted them at the party, but it was a surprise so I couldn't tell them. Unfortunately you lot are in an opposite time-zone than me, me being British and all, so for you they got kidnapped at night, which must have seemed a bit suspicious. Sorry about that. Anyway, I'm throwing this party to celebrate me being an author on fanfiction.net for exactly a year!"

"So why didn't you invite us?" asked Gatomon.

Lynz suddenly found the floor immensely fascinating "Well, um...the truth is I find you all really annoying, except for Hawkmon. And Cody."

"But _WHY!?!?_" sobbed Mimi, tears pricking her eyes "Why do you hate us so!?!?"

"Well, I don't actually hate YOU Mimi, because I like Mimou. Palmon annoys me because she never really does anything, she just gets exasperated at you a lot. Kari is too goody-goody and keeps hurting Dai-chan, Gatomon is just too urgh, Biyomon sang that 'Sora's fishing' song, Sora married Matt and I hate Sorato and Yolei...Yolei..."

"I did what?"

"YOU MARRIED KEN!!" Lynz promptly burst into tears "How could you??? You are NOT supposed to even go out with him, let alone have kids with him!!"

"I have kids with Ken?" asked Yolei.

"I marry Matt?" asked Sora.

They both looked at each other.

"EEEEEWWWWWW!!!!!"

"Huh?" asked Lynz "Does that mean you don't like what Toei did to you in the final episode?"

Sora snorted "Please, who does? I mean apart from the Sorato and Kenyako fans."

"I guess you have a point there..." Lynz broke off and ushered them forward "Anyway, let me introduce you to everyone!"

She led the gang up to where Davis was sitting. Actually, slumping would have been a better description. He was totally plastered and had a big grin on his face. Hanging off his arm was a teenage girl (who bared a vague resemblance to Jun) with an equally happy grin on her face.

"Davis, are you drunk?" asked Kari.

"No I'm not!" slurred Davis "I'm jusht a little tipshy, that'sh all!"

"I bet you are." said Lynz. She nodded towards the girl who had attached herself to Dai's arm "That's Dyani. She's a friend from my posting board, and she loves Daisuke even more than me."

"She lovesh me! Everyone lovesh me!" shouted Davis.

"Dyani, you haven't been plying him with drink, have you?" asked Gatomon.

Dyani smiled innocently "Oh course not! Would I do a thing like that?"

"Don't answer that," said Lynz, pushing everyone away "Let's go meet someone else."

The next someone else happened to be another teenage girl with shoulder length, light brown hair with blond highlights, wearing a t-shirt saying 'I BELIEVE IN TAITO _Because prophesises don't lie_' and wandering about aimlessly.

"This is Pulsar, aka Melissa or Mel, and she's my beta-reader! She's also the biggest yaoi and hentai fiend I know!"

"Hey Lynz," asked Mel, distracted "Have you seen Tai or Matt about?"

"No, why?"

"They asked what my t-shirt meant, so I told them all about Taito and how everyone loves it and supports it, then they went somewhere and I haven't seen them since!"

"No, but I'll tell you if I see them. Now, moving on..."

"AAHHHH!!!!!" screamed Hawkmon "MURDER!! ASSAULT!!!"

Everyone turned round to see that Hawkmon had been pinned to the floor by a strange looking Digimon. She looked like a cross between a cat and a fox, with deep blue fur and silver stripes. Her forearms had a metal sheath, as did her legs (as she walked on her hind legs), and the top of her head was covered in a metal helmet. Her long, stripy brush tail wagged back and forth as she hugged the bird Digimon.

"Hawk-chaaaaaaaann!!"

"Oh yeah," said Lynz sweatdropping "That's Taromon. She belongs to a friend of mine. She really likes you, Hawkmon."

"I gathered!" squeaked Hawkmon, trying to get out of Taromon's death grip on him.

"In fact..." Lynz looked over her shoulder "You'll get to meet her partner now! Hey, Scarlett! Come over here!"

The girl in question came over. She too was teenage (I guess I should've warned you all about the fangirls ^_^), with dark brown hair.

"This is Scarlett, one of my Real Life friends who's obsessed with GIFs and tigers."

"Hey." Suddenly she saw Cody "YOU!!!"

Cody growled and pointed his kendo stick at her "YOU!!!"

"What's going on?" asked Mimi, confused.

"She was the one who encased my feet in cement and threw me in the river!" shouted Cody.

"You're the irritating little sod who rasps a lot and cries when he tells lies!" yelled Scarlett.

"Oh yeah," sighed Lynz, slapping a hand over her eyes "Scarlett doesn't like Cody much. In fact, she hates him."

"DIE CODY DIE!!!" screamed Scarlett, pouncing at little Iori.

"I SHALL DESTROY YOU ALL!!!" shouted Cody, leaping into battle. Soon the two were caught in a massive scuffle.

"Umm...let's just leave them to it." said Lynz, turning back to the gang. "Now, enjoy the party!"

As the gang began to mingle, Lynz tapped Sora on the shoulder.

"Sora?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you wearing Jyou's clothes?"

"Maaaatt.....Taaaaaai!" called out Mel forlornly as she searched for the bishonen. She wandered over to where Izzy was sitting, typing on his laptop "Hey Izzy, have you seen Matt or Tai anywhere?"

"No." said Izzy in deadpan, not looking up from the screen.

"Will you help me find them?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No."

"Izzy, do you know who I am?"

"Yes, unfortunately."

"I'm a fangirl."

"So?"

"So...I have access to hammerspace."

"Hammerspace?"

From nowhere Mel pulled out a huge fan and whacked Izzy repeatedly with it.

"Ow, ow okay, okay! I'll help you look!" He turned off his laptop and put it down.

"That's a good boy!" grinned Mel, dragging a muttering Koushiro behind her.

Ken wandered about, eating a sandwich. He didn't really mind the fact that he'd been kidnapped now, since it was just for an anniversary party. And because he'd never been to a big do like this before.

"Googuru wa ssshhitteru ze, tatakai to yuuki no imi! Itsshu demo sshoba de miteta..."

Ken sweatdropped at Daisuke's drunken singing and the fact that Dyani was singing along as well. Now he knew that Davis definitely couldn't hold his alcohol. He'd have to have a word to Jun about Dai's drinking problem...

He turned round and walked straight into Rayamon's back leg. He rubbed his nose ruefully.

"Rayamon! Can't you stay out of my way or something? That's the fifth time I've walked into you tonight!"

"It's not my fault you need glasses."

"Go back to your Rookie stage then!"

"I'm a natural Champion Ken, like Gatomon. It's more comfortable to stay like this."

Ken growled when a banging noise suddenly filled the air. Rayamon's feathery ears picked up.

"Looks like we have another guest!"

The white Champion went over to the door (which had mysteriously regenerated) and opened it.

"Oh, hello! I was wondering when you'd get here!"

"Of course," came a familiar voice "I always have to be fashionably late." 

Ken poked his head round Rayamon to see who the newcomer was.

His eyes went totally wide, his pupils shrank and he screamed.

Standing in the doorway was none other than the Digimon Kaiser.

"AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! WHAT'S HE DOING HERE!?!?!?!"

"Lynz couldn't decide whether she liked good Ken or the Emperor more, so she invited both." Explained Rayamon.

"Hey Kenny boy," sneered the Kaiser, pulling his whip taut "Miss me?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" screamed Ken, running away.

"Bow down before me! Get down on your knees and BEG!" shouted the Kaiser, running after Ken and cracking his whip.

"Umm...what was that all about?" asked Wormmon, scuttling up to Rayamon.

"Beats me. Ken's in two minds about this!" Rayamon laughed at her appalling joke.

Wormmon just looked confused.

Mimi, Sora and Biyomon approached Lynz, who was standing by one of the buffet tables stuffing herself with chocolate covered flapjacks. Some thing had been bothering them since they got here, and they intended to find out what.

"Hey Lynz?"

"Mmprh?" asked Lynz, half way through a flapjack.

"We want to ask you a question."

"Mrbort mmrhat?" came the mumbled reply.

"About this fortress." Said Sora "You say we're in England, right? Yet this fortress is absolutely huge! I think we would have learned about it when we were studying Britain. How come we don't know about it? I mean, it's pretty hard not to notice a hulking great big fortress."

"There's a simple explanation to that...I'm a fanfic author."

"Huh?"

"I can make things happen. I have the Omnipotent Power of the Fanfic Author."

"I don't follow." Said Biyomon.

"Hey...I get it!" squealed Mimi "Lynz is a fanfic author, and each fanfic author creates their own parallel universes when they write stories, in which the characters have different timelines and adventures than those in the show. And so each author has unlimited power in their own dimensions, as they're the ones who created them! Therefore, we're in a parallel dimension, created by Lynz, who built this fortress to host the party, so we are in England, but technically it's not the England in OUR world, but England in one of HER worlds!"

"Bingo!" said Lynz, doing a thumbs-up.

Sora and Biyomon stared wide-eyed at Mimi.

"Whoa...you worked that out by yourself!?!?"

Mimi grinned "I'm not just a pretty face, you know!"

"You could have fooled me..." Lynz reached out for a cheese and pineapple stick, when she noticed something "Hey! Who stole all the pineapple off the cheese and pineapple sticks?!?"

Gomamon, who was beside the table, hurriedly shoved all the pineapple chunks into his mouth and grinned.

"It wasn't me!!"

"Argh! You ate all the pineapple!!! I'm the only one who's allowed to do that!!" from nowhere Lynz yanked out a guitar "GIVE ME BACK MY PINEAPPLE!!!"

"Yikes!" Gomamon made a run for it, an insane guitar-wielding fangirl in hot pursuit.

"Isn't that Matt's guitar?" asked Biyomon as she and the rest sweatdropped.

"Don't worry, it's not." Everyone turned round to see Rayamon standing behind them "It's actually her little brother's. She doesn't have the heart to destroy Matt's guitar."

"Lynsey's little brother?" asked Mimi "Then where is he?"

Back in Japan...

"SQUEEEEEEEE!!!! HE'S SO CUTE!!!!" squealed the fangirls as they all glomped Lynz's itoto-chan.

"Ack! Lemme go!"

"He's so cute! He looks like a mini TK!!" squealed Jun (AN: I'm not kidding. My little bro looks like a cross between TK and Butch from Pokémon. Thankfully he doesn't _sound _like a cross between them!)

Back at the party...

Joe sat at the table, making a house out of beer mats. Currently it was 15 across at the bottom, and he was just adding the final arch at the very top...

"JOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEE!!!! SAVE MEEEEE!!!!!"

Gomamon came crashing over the table, diving into Jyou's arms and sending the house of beer mats flying.

"Gomamon! What's wrong?"

"GIVE ME BACK MY PINEAPPLE!!!" Lynz skidded to a halt in front of Joe, guitar raised over he head "Ehe...hi Joe!"

"Lynz? Were you going to brain Gomamon with that guitar?"

Lynz hid the guitar behind her back "Guitar? What guitar?"

Jyou mushroom sighed, when he noticed Izzy stomping about behind Mel, a scowl on his face.

"Izzy? What's the matter with you?"

The red head pouted "Mel's making me try to find Matt and Tai! But I wanna go on my laptop!"

"Say, Izzy..." asked Lynz "Where IS your laptop?"

"On the seat over there." Izzy pointed down to one end of the ballroom.

"Noooooo!! Quick, we have to save it before it's too late!!!" Lynz took off down the ballroom, with Izzy in hot pursuit (he didn't really know what was going on, but he understood that his precious laptop might be in danger!).

Lynz picked up the laptop from the chair and her face fell "We're too late!"

"Why? What's..." Izzy saw what had happened to his laptop "NOOOOO!!!!"

Someone or something had taken a huge bite out of his laptop, and only half of it was left. And even that half was covered in teeth marks.

"WAAAAAAHHHH!!! MY BEAUTIFUL LAPTOP!!!!!!!" Izzy promptly burst into tears and hugged the poor damaged remains of his mini computer.

"I guess I should've warned you about leaving your computer unattended..." mused Lynz thoughtfully as Gabumon and Agumon came up, wondering why Izzy was bawling his eyes out.

"What's the matter with him?" asked Agumon.

"His laptop got half-eaten."

"My poor poor laptop!!!" Wailed Izzy. Suddenly his eyes hardened and he leapt to his feet "Who did this??? WHO!?!?!"

"The Invisible Gabumon."

"Huh?" asked Izzy and Agumon.

"It wasn't me!!!" panicked Gabumon.

"I didn't say it was YOU, Gabumon." Explained Lynz "It's the Invisible Gabumon who lives under my stairs and eats my computer equipment. So far he's eaten my monitor cover, most of my hard drive space, a mouse, several games and software, printer paper, printer ink, some padding in my mouse and now Izzy's laptop."

Agumon shook his head "You are one twisted person, Lynz."

"Yeah, I know."

Suddenly, music started up. It was 'Bokura no Digital World', actually. Lynz's face brightened.

"Well, time to dance!"

"Fancy a dance, Ken?" asked the Kaiser as he continued to chase Ken.

"Nooooo!!!! Leave me alone!!!"

"Hawk-chaaaaaaaan!!!" squealed Taromon "Dance with me!!!"

"Like I have a choice...

"Hey, Gomamon! Wanna dance?" asked Rayamon.

"Sure, why not? Gomamon Digivolve to...IKKAKUMON!!" The two Champions began to dance.

"Joe?" asked Mimi shyly.

"Yeah?"

Mimi blushed.

"I was, um, hoping, that you, um, would like to da-"

"Out of the way, sister!" Lynz pushed Mimi out of the way and grabbed Jyou "He's MINE!" she grinned up at Joe "Aren't you, Jyou-kun?"

Joe sweatdropped "Ehe..."

Tears welled up in Mimi's eyes "But I thought you LIKED Mimou!!"

"I do! There's just a coupling I like more than Mimou..." Lynz glomped Joe "That's Jyousey/Lynou! Come on Joe!" Lynz dragged him over to the dance floor.

Mimi got up, put her hands on her hips and scowled. Now she had no one to dance with! Davis was with Dyani, Joe with Lynz, TK with Kari, Willis (who was also there, with Lopmon [the Rookie form of Kokomon] and Terriermon) was with Mel, Izzy was too busy crying, Tai and Matt were still missing and Ken was being chased by the Kaiser.

"Hey Mimi?"

She turned round to see Yolei looking hopeful.

"Do you want to dance with me?"

Mimi sighed "Might as well..."

"YES!!" shouted Yolei, dragging her crush to the dance floor. 

__

Kirameki yozora miagete itara   
Ano toki ni mita hoshi ga hikatta   
Umi wo norikoe tairiku mezashi   
Omoigakezu ni hajimatta adobenchaa...

The opening verse of the Digimon 02 memorial theme began to play as everyone danced with their partners. The voices of Wada Kouji, AiM, the Japanese narrator, the Digi-Destined and their Digimon partners echoed through the ballroom as the final 02 song filled the air...

__

Bokura no dejitaru waarudo   
Warai korogeta hi kenka shita koto mo   
Subete dakishimete arukou...

The dancers swept with their partners across the marble floor in the beautiful evening, under the spell of the music. Rivalries and jealousies were forgotten as they danced...

__

  
Arigatou dejitaru waarudo   
Namida nagashita hi ochikonda koto mo   
Mune ni kizamitsuke susumou   
Bouken no tabi wa madamada tsuzuku yo 

"GENKI NEE ZO!!" shouted Davis, still not sober, as his part in the song came up. 

__

Bokura no dejitaru waarudo   
Warai korogeta hi kenka shita koto mo   
Subete dakishimete arukou...  
Arigatou dejitaru waarudo   
Namida nagashita hi ochikonda koto mo   
Mune ni kizamitsuke susumou   
Bouken no tabi wa-

Suddenly a loud crash and the shattering of glass came thundering through the air as something came smashing through one of the huge glass windows. Something large and covered in scales and metal armour...

"Madamada tsuzuku yo!" finished Metseadramon as he pulled his immense coiled body though the broken window.

"Metalseadramon??? I didn't invite you!!" shouted Lynz, annoyed at having her party gatecrashed.

"OR US!!!" Three more windows smashed as Machinedramon, Puppetmon and Piedmon came into the room.

"Could somebody please tell me what's going on?" asked Kari, confused.

"Then let us explain it for you, dear child! TRUMP SWORD!!!" Everyone dived out the way at Piedmon's attack, and it struck the table behind them. The table was completely blown away, revealing...

"Tai!! Matt!!"

Matt and Tai had indeed been under the table, which explained why no one had been able to find them. And they had been doing something...rather inappropriate.

"SQUEEEEE!!!!" squealed Mel happily "You two were making out! Taito is REAL!!!"

"We weren't making out!" protested Tai "We were just...um..." He looked up at Matt, who was currently sitting on his chest "Why don't you tell them, Yama?"

"Yama!!!" Mel went starry-eyed "You have a pet name for him!"

"Oh this is just sickening." Complained Piedmon "Let's destroy the yaoi once and for all!"

The Dark Masters chuckled behind him.

"What???"

Machinedramon did a cough that sounded suspiciously like 'Piedotismon'.

"Shut up you lot!!" shouted Piedmon, blushing "Nothing went on between us!"

The Dark Masters laughed harder.

"I've had enough of this." Tai held up his Digivice. "Go Agumon!"

"Agumon Warp-Digivolve to...WARGREYMON!!"

"Gabumon Warp-Digivolve to...METALGARURUMON!!"

"Nobody disses yaoi and gets away with it!" complained Lynz "Go get 'em, Rayamon!"

"Rayamon Warp-Digivolve to...SANTORAYAMON!!"

"My turn!" Taromon detached herself from Hawkmon and leapt forward "Taromon Warp-Digivolve to...BAIHUMON!!"

Everyone stared wide-eyed at the two new Megas.

"WHOA!!"

Santorayamon looked a bit like Antylamon (the Ultimate level rabbity thing from the Digimon movie). She had white fur, covered in v-shaped black stripes. Her ears were long and branched into three points by the tip, and a thick mane hung round her neck and chest. Two white wings rose from her back, and the primaries were black. A long, stripy tail swished behind her, and on her arms, ears, legs and tail were several thick, gold bracelets.

Baihumon, on the other hand, looked like an immense silver tiger with blue stripes. The front of her paws had metal coverings and two huge fangs stuck out at right angles to her jaw, while her heavy-set head was framed by a mane of coarse, pale blue hair. Her tail had a spiked ring around it, and around her waist spun a ring of 12 golden balls of pure energy (and because I'm a nice person, here's a pic of Santorayamon and Baihumon! The former's a bit dodgy...sorry. I'm a writer, not a drawer! Plus my scanner's evil.).

Jyou tapped Lynz on the shoulder.

"Yours and Scarlett's Digimon can go Mega?"

"Of course!" grinned Lynz "I'm a fanfic author! I can make anything happen!"

"Isn't Baihumon one of the 4 Digital Gods?" asked Tentomon, slightly puzzled.

"Yeah, but humour me. Now go kick some ass, guys!"

"Right!" Santorayamon nodded "Split up and take one Master each! I'll take Machinedramon, you guys pick your own! Ready? GO!"

With that, the 8 Megas joined into a battle royal. Everyone else ran for cover as attacks blasted overhead, incinerating anything they came into contact with.

"RIVER OF POWER!!!" Metalseadramon fired his attack at Baihumon, but the nimble tiger dodged and launched her own attack.

"VAJRA!" a blast of energy came shooting from the spheres around her waist and struck the Lord of the Sea straight on. Before he had even time to recover, Baihumon was upon him with her secondary attack. "IRON CLAWS!"

Machinedramon wasn't having a fun time either. Being a robot, he didn't have much manoeuvrability, so had to resort to firing his cannons willy-nilly. But whenever his attacks DID hit, they were deflected by Santorayamon's energy shield.

"GIGA CANNON!" the attack bounced off again. Santorayamon drew back her hands and a crackling ball of electric energy formed in between.

"SANTO RETRIBUTION!!" she fired the lance of electricity straight at the Dark Master, and it caught him full on. His circuits began to overload and he started to smoke.

"Ahhhh!!!!" rasped Machinedramon "Fire in the hole!"

Eventually the fighting noises quietened down, and all the party guests peeped out from behind their hiding places.

Baihumon was standing on Metalseadramon's neck and almost crushing his head to the ground. Santorayamon had Machinedramon in a headlock, Metalgarurumon had pinned Puppetmon under one of his paws and Piedmon was caught in an arm lock by Wargreymon.

"Alright you!" shouted Lynz, stalking over to Piedmon "I demand to know just what the hell you think you're playing at!!! Why did you wreck my party?!?!"

"I'll never tell you!" Wargreymon gave Piedmon's arm a twist "Ow! Okay, I'll tell, I'll tell! We didn't REALLY want to wreck your party...we were paid to."

"PAID to???"

"That's right!" came Metalseadramon's muffled voice "We got a phone call from someone saying that they'd pay us to come and trash the party! And since we need the money, we agreed!"

"But who would want to deshtroy the party?" lisped Veemon "I mean, it'sh not THAT bad!"

"It's quite obvious," Said the Kaiser, suddenly appearing next to them with his whip wrapped round Ken's neck (and the poor lad was struggling like mad to get free) "It's someone who was a vendetta against Lynz."

"So who doesn't like you?" asked Willis.

"Hmm..." Lynz thought "I suppose some Yolei fans don't like me because I don't like her, the Sorato/Kenyako/Michael fans don't like me because of what's been happening in this story, and some people who flamed me for my story 'Forever' (but since they can't spell, I seriously doubt they could organise an attack)...but apart from that, no one, I think."

"Then who was it?" asked Lopmon (he never gets to appear in fics, so I gave him a line!)

"It was...ME!!!!" came a shout from behind them. Everyone turned around to see...

A giant robot spider thing, complete with cannons and lasers, coming clanking towards them. A glass dome on the top opened up, to reveal the person inside...

"IZZY!?!?!?" gasped everyone.

"Yes! And I shall destroy you all!"

"Isn't that Cody's line?" mused Armadillomon.

"Izzy?" asked Lynz "But why do YOU, of all people, want to kill me?"

"Because, my dear fangirl...you hate me!"

"No I don't! I love you! You used to be my favourite!"

"Yes, USED to be. Then you discovered Joe and I went down to second place. Then came Davis and Ken and now I'm in fourth place! And, to top it all off, you BASH me!"

"Ah, don't worry, Kousshhiro!" slurred Davis "Sshe basshesh me, but sshe shtill lovesh me!"

"Oh shut up, you goggle headed freak!"

"HEY! I take offence at that!" shouted Tai.

"Alright then, Izzy!" said Lynz defiantly. "Explain why I bash you then."

"The first fic you ever did: 'Sanity'."

"What about it?"

"What about it?? WHAT ABOUT IT!?!?!? You KILLED me, that's what about it!!!"

"I didn't kill you!" protested Lynz "It was up to the reader to decide whether you died or not!"

"And most readers thought I DID!"

"Well, yeah...but you were alive in the sequel!"

"You took that down!"

Lynz sweatdropped "Oops..."

"And then your 'Pretty Fly' series that bashes everyone...you did me first!"

"But that was because I liked you..."

"Afterwards 'Myotismon's Christmas'...I got my scooter AND my laptop stolen!"

"I actually quite liked that story." Said Piedmon.

"Oh be quiet, you Ronald McDonald rip-off!"

Piedmon sniffed "That hurt!"

Ignoring him, Izzy carried on "Next came 'Never Forget'!!"

"Hey, you were hardly in that! It was all about Davis!"

"EXACTLY!! I was hardly in it!!!"

"...That was because it was all about Davis."

"Whoo! Everyone lovesh me!" cheered Davis.

"Daisuke," began Izzy "Do you have any idea what happens to you in that fic?"

"No."

"You DIE."

"I...die?" Davis began to cry "WAAHH!! YOU DON'T LOVE ME!!!"

"Ahh, don't cry, Dai-kun!" soothed Dyani, giving Davis a hug.

Davis sniffed "Lynsh doeshn't love me! Sshe hatesh me!"

"I do love you, Davis! Just because you die doesn't mean I hate you! It had a happy ending!"

Izzy coughed.

"Alright then, a BITTERSWEET ending! And it made people cry! And see, they liked it!" Lynz gave Davis a copy of the reviews, and he brightened considerably.

"Yesh! You love me!"

Izzy rapped the metal covering of his spider robot to get their attention "I haven't finished yet! After 'Never Forget' it was 'Forever' and its sequel 'Jealousy', which was so twisted I'm not gonna say anything about it!"

"Why was it so bad?" asked Tai.

Izzy reached inside his robot and pulled out several sheets of paper and threw them at the former goggle boy "Here Tai, read your death/murder scene!"

Tai began to read and got paler and paler. He finally finished and started shaking.

"Are you alright?" asked Kari.

Tai opened his mouth to speak, but instead he passed out.

"TAI!!!!" screamed Matt.

"Quick Yama, give him mouth-to-mouth!" shouted Mel.

TK caught the sheets as they floated down "I wonder what he freaked out at? Hey, I wonder who killed him!" he started to read, then all colour drained from his face. He did a girlie scream and promptly ran and hid under a table, throwing the papers away.

Everyone sweatdropped, then turned back to Izzy, who was once again banging to get their attention.

"And if all those fics weren't bad enough..." Izzy held up what was left of his computer "Your imaginary invisible friend ate my laptop! And for that, I will DESTROY you!!"

In a flash, Santorayamon moved in front of Lynz, along with the other 7 Megas.

"You'll have to get through us first!" growled Santorayamon.

"You think you can take on 8 Megas?" asked Puppetmon.

Lynz went starry eyed.

"You guys are gonna fight for me?" 

"Of course!" said Piedmon, doing a thumbs up "You let us have a big part in 'Myotismon's Christmas', and we like you for it!"

Lynz got little animé waterfall tears "Wow, I love you guys!"

Izzy sneered "Pathetic! Is that the best you can do?"

"Not yet! Biyomon Digivolve to Birdramon Digivolve to...GARUDAMON!"

"Palmon Digivolve to Togemon Digivolve to...LILLYMON!"

"Ikkakumon Digivolve to...ZUDOMON!" (AN: He Digivolved to dance, remember?)

"Patamon Digivolve to...ANGEMON!"

"Veemon Digivolve to...EXVEEMON"

"Hawkmon Digivolve to...AQUILLAMON!"

"Armadillomon Digivolve to...ANKYLOMON!"

"Wormmon Digivolve to...STINGMON!"

"Terriermon Warp-Digivolve to...SAINT-GALGOMON!" (AN: Since his brother can go Mega, I thought it only fair to let him too!)

"Lopmon Warp-Digivolve to...KERPYMON!"

"ExVeemon! Stingmon! Jogress shinka...PAILDRAMON!"

"Aquillamon! Gatomon! Jogress shinka...SLIPHYMON!"

"Ankylomon! Angemon! Jogress shinka...SHAKKOUMON!"

"Paildramon Mega- Digivolve to...IMPERIALDRAMON!"

(AN: While typing this I was listening to 'Brave Heart', the Japanese Digivolving theme! Very appropriate!)

"Wait!" said Tentomon "Do I get to Digivolve too?"

"If you want." Shrugged Lynz.

"Tentomon Digivolve to Kabuterimon Digivolve to...MEGAKABUTERIMON!"

Despite the previous scene being the biggest mass-Digivolve since 'Enter the Dark Masters', Izzy wasn't impressed.

"Please, 11 Megas and 6 Ultimates? Don't make me laugh!" He grinned evilly. "Now watch how it's done!" He pressed a button on his control panel inside the robot and a panel opened in the side, allowing several circular, black objects flew out...

"EEEIIIIIIII!!!!!" Shrieked TK from under the table "DARK RINGS!!!"

"Don't be an idiot!" sneered the Kaiser "They're not Dark Rings! They look nothing like them!" 

Everyone's eyes went really small, as to them they looked exactly the same as Dark Rings.

Izzy clapped his hands together in glee "Now, I believe I'm supposed to laugh evilly here...MWAHAHAHA!!!!"

The not-Dark Rings, which had quietly been hovering, suddenly sprang into life. Each one clamped around the neck or arm of a Digimon with lightning speed, and the 'Mons began to scream as their energy was sucked out of them, and they began to de-Digivolve to back into Rookies.

"As you can see," laughed Izzy "My not-Dark Rings steal energy from Digimon and make them revert back to their Rookie stage!"

Gatomon and Rayamon glowed once again, and went back to their Rookie forms of Salamon and Gazimon.

"Not only that, it effects natural Champions too!"

The four glowing shapes that once were the Dark Masters continued to get smaller and smaller...

"And..." grinned Izzy "even natural MEGAS!!"

Where the four Masters once stood were now four little Digimon. Modoki-Betamon (yes, he is a real Digimon), who was once Metalseadramon, a little Agumon who used to be Machinedramon, a Mushroomon that was Puppetmon, and where Piedmon once was...

"PATAMON!?!?!" gasped everyone.

The Patamon that was once Piedmon looked down at himself, then covered his face with his wings, mortified "This is so embarrassing..." (AN: To save confusion, the Agumon and Patamon that were once Dark Masters will be referred to as Machinedramon and Piedmon.)

The Kaiser started to applaud.

"Why are you clapping!?!?!" screamed Kari angrily, holding an exhausted Salamon in her arms "He's BEATING us!"

"Well, yeah...but you have to admit, that was a really good plan!"

Mel glared at the Kaiser.

"If you weren't such a total shag-beast I'd whack you with my fan right now!"

"Don't worry guys!" said Lynz, stepping forward and pulling out a sheet of paper and a pen "I have the Omnipotent Power of the Fanfic Author! All I have to do is to write him out!"

Izzy snickered "Ah, I thought that you'd try this! So, I took precautions!"

Another panel opened up in the robot and something yellow shot out into the air, did a somersault and landed neatly on the marble floor.

Everyone's gaze followed the creature from the feet up.

White clawed feet.

A brush tail.

Yellow fur.

Purple gloves marked with a yin-yang...and the expressionless gaze of Renamon.

Lynz took one look at the Tamer character, screamed and ran away behind Joe.

"Jyoooooooooouuuuuu! Save meeeeeeee!!!!!!!!"

Joe sweatdropped "Sheesh, it's only Renamon!"

"That's just it! She's eviiiiill!! Don't let her get me!!!"

Izzy laughed evilly "And now it's time for...the grand finale!" The giant laser on the front of his spider robot swivelled into position and the tip began to glow as it charged up. "But first, we need some dramatic music!"

He pushed a few buttons and the guitar riff from his Season 01 theme 'Tenjin Umi' began to play. "Perfect! Now...prepare to DIE!! MWAHAHAHA!!!!"

Everybody gasped and took a step back in fear.

The laser began to shake form the stored energy.

The light built and built and a whining noise filled the air...

Everyone braced themselves for the impact...

****

CHOMP

"Huh?" Izzy blinked and wondered why everyone hadn't been incinerated. Then he looked down at the laser...

The tip had been bitten clean off!

"What the..."

Suddenly the rest of the laser began to disappear in chunks...

"What's going on?" asked Modoki-Betamon (isn't that fun to say? Modoki-Betamon!)

Lynz gasped as she worked it out "It's...the Invisible Gabumon!!"

"HUH???"

"He actually exists?" asked the real Gabumon.

"Yeah, of course he does! You thought I was making him up?"

"AAHHH!!! LEAVE MY ROBOT ALONE!!!!!" screamed Izzy as his spider robot continued getting eaten. Eventually the legs gave way and it collapsed into a pile of scrap, with Izzy still sitting on his (leather) control seat.

"DAMN YOU!!!" shouted Izzy, shaking his fist at where he thought the Invisible Gabumon once was. A burp answered him.

Izzy growled and pointed at everyone else "I'm not beaten yet!" he pulled out a remote control and pushed a big red button on it. A giant, humanoid robot crashed through the wall and clanked forward, standing behind its master.

"Behold my greatest invention...CODYBOT!!!"

"I-shall-destroy-you-all!" whirred the giant Cody robot. 

"This is just insane..." muttered Joe.

"It took you THIS long to figure that out?" asked Kari.

"There's only one thing to do!" The Kaiser stepped forward "KIMERAMON! COME TO YOUR MASTER!!! I COMMAND YOU!!!"

Silence.

"Um, Ken?"

"It's the Kaiser!"

"Alright then, the Kaisher?" lisped Veemon "Kimeramon'sh dead. I blew him up."

The Kaiser thought for a minute "Dammit, you're right! Now what are we gonna do???"

"You stay still so I can destroy you!! MWAHAHA!!" laughed Izzy, as he ordered his CodyBot forward.

"Izzy!" wailed Tentomon, his eyes really big and pleading. "I'm your partner! You're not going to hurt ME, are you?"

"Hurt you? Of COURSE I'm going to hurt you! You're the Nimoy bug! And I'm fed up of your tree obsession and appalling jokes! Die you stupid bug!!" Izzy made the CodyBot zap lasers at Tentomon.

"AAHHHH!!!!"

Meanwhile...

Scarlett wandered around the ballroom, trying to find her opponent.

"Oh Cody...where are yooou? Don't worry, I won't hurt you...much!"

Suddenly, an explosion made her jump and whirl around.

In the distance (it was a very big ballroom) she could see the CodyBot firing lasers and causing everyone to run for their lives.

Her eyes narrowed, she screamed a war cry and ran towards the action.

Back with the gang...

"MWAHAHA!!!" laughed Izzy "I'll teach you to bash me and not write me into fics! I'll destroy you all, and then they'll be nobody to write about but me!! BWAHAHAHA!!!!!!"

Suddenly, he heard a rather loud war cry. He peeked round CodyBot to see a rather angry fangirl charging towards him.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! DIE CODY DIE!!!" 

Scarlett leapt at the CodyBot and began to rip it apart with her bare hands.

"Nooooo!!! What are you doing!?!? Leave my CodyBot alone!!"

"Woah!" gasped Piedmon, hiding under the table with TK. He turned to look at Lynz, who was also there "Aren't you going to do anything?"

"No way! Renamon's still out there!!"

"Then do something about it!"

Lynz thought, then pulled out a remote from her pocket and pushed a button on it, causing the floor tile beneath Renamon to give way and drop her into a pit of Feralimon (You may have guessed, I don't like Renamon!).

The CodyBot began to fuse as it was torn apart. It sparked, then...

****

BOOM!!

The CodyBot blew up, showing broken metal and smoke everywhere.

Izzy coughed and fanned away some of the smoke, when he noticed something.

He was surrounded by 19 pissed-off looking Rookies.

Which included a VERY pissed off looking Tentomon.

"Um...no hard feelings, right guys?"

"PEPPER BREATH!!"

"BLUE BLASTER!"

"SPIRAL TWISTER!"

"MARCHING FISHES!"

"POISON IVY!"

"BOOM BUBBLE!!"

"SUPER SHOCKER!"

"PUPPY HOWLING!"

"V-HEADBUTT!"

"BEAK BUZZSAW!"

"DIAMOND SHELL!"

"STICKY NET!"

"BUDDY BLAST!!"

"ELECTRIC STUN BLAST!"

"BLUE ARROW!"

"AQUA TOWER!"

"FUNGUS CRUNCHER!"

The attacks combined and there was a massive explosion, which catapulted a rather singed Izzy into the air and blasted him through the window.

"Looks like Koushiro is blasting off again! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!" His scream faded away as he became a little twinkle in the sky, before that too disappeared.

All the humans started to cheer and ran over to congratulate their partners (except for Davis, who was still drunk and attached to Dyani, Mel, who was helping Matt revive Tai, Cody, who wasn't there, TK, who was under the table and the Kaiser, who went to congratulate the Dark Masters instead).

"Scarlett?" asked Taromon, pulling her partner out the wreckage of the CodyBot "Are you okay?"

"Grrrooooooaaahrrrrr!!!!" Growled Scarlett, foaming at the mouth and trying to tear apart a piece of metal with her teeth "I shall destroy you, Cody!"

Taromon sweatdropped.

"Hey, you're pretty cute as a Rookie!" giggled Lynz, rubbing Gazimon's head fur.

"You mean I wasn't as a Champion?"

"Well, I couldn't exactly pick you up then, could I?"

"TK?" asked Patamon, peering under the table "You can come out now!"

"Nooooooo!!! I don't want to! Lynz is INSANE!!"

"...Yeah, we know that. So why are you scared?"

"She...and Tai..."

Patamon pulled a face "What? Taisey/ Lynchi?"

"No! The p-person s-she made kill T-tai...AAAAHHH!!!!" TK grabbed Patamon in a hug "DON'T LET HER HURT ME!!!"

"Whoohoo!" cheered Modoki-Betamon "I have legs again!"

"And I have a tongue...I can whistle! Whoo!!" cheered Machinedramon, whistling the Japanese Digimon theme song (which is waaaaaay better than the dub version. All together now 'Ooooon myyyyy looooooooooove!!!')

"This is just SO EMBARRASSING!!!" wailed Piedmon "I'm a BATPIG again!!"

"Oh c'mon," said Kari, smiling "It's not that bad! Actually, you're kinda cute!"

Piedmon blushed, then regained himself "But I'm supposed to be an evil clown! Not a guinea pig with wings!"

"Don't worry!" said Lynz coming over, with Gazimon riding on her shoulders "You'll probably just go back to Mega after a meal, since the not-Dark Rings only stole your energy temporarily. And if not, then I can always write you back into your Mega forms!"

"Man," said Willis, wrinkling his nose "Izzy really did a number on this place!"

Indeed, the Grand Ballroom had been trashed. The chandeliers had fallen from the ceiling, the windows were shattered, the tables and food were scattered and laser burns were everywhere.

Lynz sighed "Well, I guess this cuts the party short. It had to end anyway; it's almost evening back in Japan. You lot had better go back before people get suspicious."

"Aren't you going to do a speech first?" asked the Kaiser.

"YEAH! SSHPEECH!!!" slurred Davis.

"Speech speech speech!" chanted everyone.

"Alright, alright!!" Lynz waved them all to stop chanting. She climbed on top of one of the upturned tables.

"Firstly I'd like to thank all the people who're reading this now, and who no doubt think that I'm insane. And to all you guys for coming to my party! Special thanks to Cybra for being my first ever reviewer, Ishida Takeru for being my first constructive flamer, Jay and Princess of Quake for consistent reviewing (Jay, I WILL do that song fic! It's just taking me a while!), Moondancer for inspiring me to get off my ass and do the final bit of Sanity (hoy, I gotta lot of fics to write!), Kaden Zendi Fukuyama for liking 'Forever' so much that she drew me some fanart, and all the really great authors out there that have made me laugh and cry with their fics! Also to Mel for being a great beta-reader and friend (and for getting me hooked on Kensuke...). But most of all, thanks to everyone out there for reviewing my fics and making me feel wanted! If to read is human, to review divine, then you guys are up there with Azulongmon! Thank you ever so much for your support, and here's to another year of fanfic writing!!"

"Another year of character bashing..." grumbled Tentomon.

"Another year of scariness..." whimpered TK.

"HEY!! I HEARD THAT!!!"

A little bit later...

Lynz finished scribbling on a piece of paper. A shimmering portal opened up in the middle of the ballroom.

"Right guys, this portal'll take you back to your own homes."

"What about us?" asked Modoki-Betamon.

"It'll take you guys to Myotismon's house, so you can go bug him until you become Megas again."

"ALRIGHT!!" cheered the Dark Masters, charging through the portal.

"This is so embarrassing..." wailed Piedmon as Mushroomon dragged him through.

"Hey Lynz?" asked Kari "You never answered my question. Why did you feed Michael to the Feralimon?"

"Because he's an annoying goit with stupid hair, a stupid voice, his own helicopter and he's a threat to Mimou. So I hate him.."

"Fair enough..." Kari and Salamon went through the portal.

"Hey Kenny boy," laughed the Kaiser, putting his arm round him "looks like I'm coming back with you!"

"Why me..."

"Come on Davish!" lisped Veemon "Let Dyani go! We hafta go home!"

"Dyani'sh coming with me!" shouted Davis "Sshe lovesh me!"

" ^_^ And I love you, Dai-chan!" said Dyani, kissing him on the cheek.

"Sshee? Sshe LOVESH me!! Everyone lovesh me!"

Veemon mushroom sighed and dragged the two through the portal.

"Yolei?" asked Lynz.

"Huh?" Yolei turned round "What?"

Lynz grinned evilly "Bye."

Suddenly the floor gave way beneath Yolei's feet and she plunged screaming into the Feralimon pit.

"Now THAT was uncalled for!" huffed Hawkmon.

"True...but I don't like her. In fact, I hate her."

"Let GO Mel!!" Tai and Matt tried to yank their feet out of Mel's death grip.

"Noooooooo!!! I don't want you to go!! I love you!!"

Matt looked at Tai "This calls for drastic measures!"

He grabbed Tai and pulled him into a passionate kiss, with tongues and everything. Mel squealed a fangirl squeal and fell back with love hearts in her eyes. Tai and Matt seized their chance and ran through the portal with their partners right behind them.

"Lynz?" asked Joe.

"Huh? What is it, Jyou-kun?"

Joe gave Lynz a peck on the cheek "Happy anniversary!"

Lynz promptly collapsed from happiness, after having been kissed by her favourite bishounen (c'mon, who out there wouldn't?)

Gomamon shook his head at the two girls on the floor, one with love hearts for eyes chanting 'Taito' and the other one with love hearts babbling about 'Jyou-kun'.

"Fangirls. Honestly."

"Well, we better get going then," said Biyomon, going through the portal, followed by Sora. Just about to go through, Joe tapped her shoulder.

"Sora?"

"What is it?"

"Just one thing...WHY are you wearing my clothes???"

****

The End!!!

Well, not entirely.

Let's have a mini epilogue!!

"Mother! I'm home!" called Ken, coming through the front door.

"Oh Ken! I've been so worried about you!" Mrs Ichijouji got up "I've been wondering where you-AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" she saw the Kaiser standing behind her son "OSAMU!!! YOU'RE ALIVE!!!"

The Kaiser snorted.

"Stupid onna..."

"He's not Osamu, momma. He's the Digimon Kaiser, my evil alter-ego. He followed me home after the party."

"Oh." Mrs Ichijouji blinked "Well, I suppose he can stay for a bit then."

"Hear that, Kenny boy?" laughed the Kaiser, grabbing his hair and giving him a monkey scrub (a noogie) "Looks like we'll be together for a while!"

Ken gave a weak smile, trying to get free from the noogie.

"Oh, goodie..."

At Joe's house...

"I'm back!"

Joe walked into the front room to see Jim sitting on the sofa, looking serious.

"Jim? What's wrong?"

"Joe...sit down."

Jyou went and sat next to his big brother.

"Now, " began Jim "I think you're old enough to hear this, and I think it's time someone told you...but soon you're going to hit something called 'puberty', and some wonderful changes will start to happen to your body..."

"Um, Jim? That happened a few years ago..."

"...don't worry, it's perfectly normal...and soon some hormonal changes will start to happen..."

"What are you babbling on about? Have you been at dad's brandy?"

"...and you'll be getting some certain...'urges'..."

Joe slammed his hand down on the table "Okay, just what THE HELL is this all about?!?!?!?"

Jim sighed and looked at the floor "I found your girlfriends in the closet."

"What girlfriend?" then he realised something "Wait, girlfriendS!?!? As in more than one?!?!?"

Jim placed a hand on Joe's arm and gave him a brotherly look "Now, I know that you've grown, and that you think you're mature...but you need to be _careful,_ Joe! Do you use protection?"

"What the..._PROTECTION?!?!?_"

"Oh Joe!!" wailed Jim, giving him a big hug "You're far too young to be a father!! Don't destroy your life and these girls' by getting them pregnant!!"

Joe pulled himself out of the hug "Jim, I have absolutely NO idea what you're going on about here! I am NOT getting it on with someone, and I do NOT have a girlfriend, let alone two!! I don't know what you've been taking, but whatever it is you've had enough!!" Jyou got up and stormed into his room, slamming the door behind him.

Jim sat back down and wiped away a tear.

"My little itoto-chan's all grown up!" :')

At Tai's house...

"Mother? Father?" asked Tai, standing in front of his parents with Matt beside him "I have something to tell you..."

"What is it?" asked Mrs Kamiya, who was sitting with her husband on the couch "You know you can tell us anything, son."

Tai looked at Matt for support, then turned back to his parents.

"You see...I'm gay."

"WHAT!?!?!? WHO WITH!?!?!?"

"Yamato." To prove his point, Tai turned round and kissed Yama.

Mr Kamiya promptly collapsed and started foaming at the mouth, while Mrs Kamiya started wailing about 'never having grandkids'.

Kari walked into the room to get some food from the kitchen, but stopped when she saw her father twitching and foaming on the floor, her mother crying massive waterfall tears and Tai and Matt kissing so much they were practically eating each other's faces.

She turned round and walked back into her room.

"Now that is just too weird..."

Back at Joe's...

Joe sat at his desk, scribbling furiously in his book as he did his homework. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

"Go away!" he shouted.

The door opened anyway and his father came through.

"Joe...I have to talk to you about something."

The boy sighed and closed his book "What about?"

His father sat down beside him "Well, it seems we haven't had this father-son talk before, but I guess now's as good a time as any...Joe, pretty soon you're going to hit something called 'puberty', and some wonderful changes will start to happen to your body..."

Jyou groaned and slammed his head onto the desk.

__

What happened to everyone after this fic!

Tai: Eventually got excepted by his parents. Currently going out with Matt. Also currently being stalked by Taito fans.

Matt: Going out with Tai. Also being stalked by Taito fans.

Sora: Was driven insane by the fact that everyone kept asking her why she wore Joe's clothes. Currently in a mental institution.

Izzy: Landed on File Island. Now spends his time inventing robots and trying to come up with ways to kill Lynz.

Mimi: Stole Michael's credit cards and maxed them all out.

Joe: Never really understood why his family tried to give him talks about the birds and the bees, nor why they thought he had several girlfriends.

TK: Still in therapy after reading 'Jealousy'.

Kari: Taking anger management classes.

Davis: Woke up the next morning with a hangover and a splitting headache, wondering why the phrase 'Everyone loves me' was written upside down on his shirt and why there was a fangirl hanging off his arm.

Yolei: Got digested.

Cody: Was eventually found wandering the Dark Fortress. Was put into an asylum but escaped. Whereabouts unknown.

Ken: Started to comfort eat after being forced to live with the Kaiser. Currently the cute kind of chubby.

The Kaiser: Still living with Ken. Currently trying to make him lose weight by chasing him around Odaiba cracking his whip.

Willis: Got into a fistfight with Henry over who got Terriermon. Henry won. (Don't blame me, blame the Tamer people!)

Palmon: Got upset because she was practically ignored throughout the entire story and robbed a grocery store for attention. Still in prison.

The Dark Masters: Went back to their Mega Forms. Piedmon was never able to live down the fact that he was once a Patamon.

Scarlett: Was also sent to an asylum. Also escaped, and current whereabouts unknown.

Gazimon: Went back to being Rayamon.

Jeff Nimoy: Got kidnapped by a bunch of irate Digimon fans. Being held in an unknown location.

Michael: See Yolei.

Dyani: Kept herself attached to Daisuke's arm for a week. Eventually had to be pried off using Imperialdramon and a crowbar.

Mel: Began to stalk Tai and Matt, as well as continuing to beta fics.

Lynz: Couldn't believe that everyone's still reading this far, and went on to write even more fanfics.

Everyone reading this fic: Hopefully enjoyed it as much as Lynz did writing it, and (even more hopefully) reviewed!

****

The Real End!!!

__

And happy anniversary everyone!!


End file.
